Sarah Dickerson

May 26, 2009

Memorial Weekend

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahvd @ 7:54 pm

Lovely weekend up north, but a little chilly. We spent most of our time next door at Rogers. He cooked for us, let me use his shower, provided many other goodies. Without him, our weekend would have been cold and dreary in our own, now miserable cottage. The place is falling apart, still. The furniture has been pretty much cleared out, except for a few pieces in the living room and the beds. The kitchen is full of mouse shit, and there are nests in Mom’s old desk in the bedroom. When we weren’t at Rogers, enjoying a fire in his fire place, we were in Mankers’ front yard, enjoying the view from there (it was warmer in the sun down there). Later, we broke into their garage, and helped ourselves to the horse shoes. We couldn’t find the darts for the dart board. Roger decided to light a tent worm thing on fire. When it wouldn’t go, he grabbed the Mankers lighter fluid and burned the baby out of the tree. We figured we’d have a forest fire.

On that same day, a man came down the lane in an Amish carriage pulled by a retired harness racing horse, a beautiful chestnut horse named Chester. We all ran out of Roger’s cottage and asked if he could stop. He did, and handed Bethy’s girls and I pieces of carrots to feed him. His name is Russel, and we talked to him for a while, and found out he was a caretaker for some horses down the Flat Road somewhere, and staying weekends, or something, in the tiny cabin at the end of Simmon’s Bluff Rd. We told him we’d love to see the other horses and go for a ride sometime. He was in a small carriage, so he took the girls for a ride down the end of the lane and back. (we joked while he was gone about whether or not this strange man would bring the girls back; somehow we knew he would). On the way back, Melanie had the reigns! Very exciting. This horse could trot a mile a minute. Very fast, very graceful! The girls loved it and so did we. I hope we see him again.

We spent a lot of time laughing this weekend. Very fun, very relaxing. But somehow, we missed Lindy, Rose and Madelynn.

May 19, 2009

May

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahvd @ 10:55 am

Beautiful May weather. Rose out of my wiggies and feel 100%. Almost as if someone hit the reset button one day.

No smokes in a week (I’m done!).

I’m debating whether or not to do Weight Watchers at work again. Or, I could do it online. Or, I could eat.

Up north this weekend, but won’t stay at the cottage. To Iowa June 12 for a reunion of the Travel Writers Group. Need to get some pages prepped and sent. Reading Ann Bauer’s ms and enjoying the hell out of it. Fun to read others’ works in progress. Finished, for now, revising Candle Stars. Maybe I’ll try The Sun, though I don’t know if that’s their bag for sure. I’ll go journal shopping to see where it fits. I looked at my bulletin board with my book outlined on it, and I can almost see it again. About once a year, I can see the book.

Time for a walk. Thank God for walking again.

May 14, 2009

Quit smoking

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahvd @ 12:49 pm

Okay, okay, one thing at a time: I quit smoking. I feel better already. Storms last night, rained like hell, today it is bright and cool and springy. I went outside, swept up butts, and feel like a new woman. Now, dog poop.

May 13, 2009

Word documents

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahvd @ 7:58 pm

Compared to the internet, blogging, Face book, etc, opening up an open, blank Word document is BORING! I’m still working on the close of Candle Stars and doing something with the curious little kitten, but its more fun to find pics of copies of the book online and post them into my blog than it is writing an essay, or a book. What’s wrong with me? Opening up a work in progress is not as hard as a blank page, but it’s still just words on a white page. I think my head’s not just wiggy, but totally mushy. I’ve been working, or not working on my book now for five years. Not only that, but I’m FAT and I SMOKE and I EAT, and I’m in the worst physical and mental and intellectual shape of my life. I’m stuck in a hole.

I was talking to Bethy today. I have a choice: I can be a fat slob who sleeps late, smokes, eats and channel surfs, or I can live. If I don’t pick the latter than I’m just stupid on top of all of it. What happen to nature blogging and bike riding and dog walking?

I got hold of a little medical marijuana. Amazing: took the wiggies and headaches away! So, now I can be a pot head on top of it all. The only side effect is that it made me a little stoned. Not that that was all bad, but it has a funny way of making you feel like a prize-winning couch potato. At least I felt relaxed for the first time in two months straight. All I need now is a state permit and I can be certified pot head. I spent my time looking at this (posted on FB by Rob Green)

I laughed my ass off. Then I got the munchies.

May 7, 2009

Excerpt

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahvd @ 12:54 pm

Last night, after looking at the stars, we lay down on our parents’ bed behind the bookshelf that separates their room from the rest of the cottage and read books. There’s the one about the cat who gets curious and follows a turtle to a pool of water. A pencil-drawn cat walks along a penciled line–a tight-rope act. A turquoise half circle drops below the line on the left-hand page, the only color in the story—this is the pool of water. A turtle stands on the line. The cat walks forward and looks at the turtle. Now just the turtle shell, head and legs tucked in, sits on the penciled-line. Of course, in the end, the cat falls into the turquoise half circle, with a splash, and runs like mad across the tightrope line to the opposite right-hand page. A curious two-dimensional story played in two-dimensional world.

Lemon head

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahvd @ 11:05 am

Still lemony-headed today, but not as bad.  I’m thinking about trying pot.   Sweating buckets yesterday and this morning.  What’s that all about?  peri-menopause?   Weaning off Effexor, which may be causing high blood pressure.  Inderal keeps me from trembling and shaking, but does not get rid of the lemon head.  I feel the headaches below the surface.

Gaining weight a pound a minute.  I swear!   I plan to write today!  At least it’s a plan.

May 4, 2009

Blood Pressure

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahvd @ 9:17 am

Since I can’t seem to escape how I’m feeling, I’m going to focus on it.   Had some high blood pressure a couple of weeks ago, and the doc prescribed Inderal for my headaches, high blood pressure, and anxiety (headaches and anxiety part of what I call my seasonal wigginess).   It seemed to help a lot at first, but now, not really.  Blood pressure this morning before meds, though, was 149 over 90 something (I bought a blood pressure kit thing).   I woke up thick headed and vibrating all over, a kind of tingling sensation through out my body. No lemon head feeling today, yet.   Off to doc this morning.   I want my xanax back.  I been feeling horrible for about six weeks now.

Need to move forward in the meantime.  Work on my essay.  Get Cola some flea/tic medicine, eat less.   This too shall pass?

May 3, 2009

May

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahvd @ 2:19 pm

Beautiful out, and my head is clogged and foggy as it is most of the time.  I’ve been trying to figure out how to describe the feeling:  I always go back to wiggy.  but it feels like a my mouth might feel if I had a peeled lemon jammed into.  My head feelsl like its stuffed with a sour lemon, which eventually will turn into a full blown headache.   I desperately want relief.  I want to get rid of the lemon head feeling and fill it with warm, sweet, dark chocolate.  I want relief.  I feel sick.

It’s hard to get outside myself when I always feel so awful.

So, I’m going to do something with that straight, horizontal line with the kitty and turtle balancing on it and the two dimensional blue pool of water.  It needs to get worked into the Candle Stars essay.  It has something to do with its two dimensionality, versus the lake and dome like sky in the day time and stars at night.    Not much, just a few lines.

Washed the car today and picked up dog poop.  So far so good.  I have until June 23rd off.

May 1, 2009

The Curious Little Kitten

Filed under: Uncategorized — sarahvd @ 12:44 pm
kitty

kitty

I found a copy of one of my favorite childrens books, one of those books that we only read once a year in the summer.  It’s got a spot in my essay “Candle Stars”  a work in progress still.  The pics of  the little kitten and the turtle and the horizontal line with the blue pool of water at one end, a part of a fence at the other, brings back memories.   Cool.

The curjous little kitten

The curjous little kitten

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